Being in the Not-Knowing

The power of a listening mind

This summer I took part in a morning writing group. Two days a week, we read a piece of writing together, and then wrote on a related prompt on our own. 

Each session, when the prompt arrived, I had the same experience, a feeling of blankness – what on earth am I going to say in response to that? And every time, eventually, something unpredictable emerged. 

One recent prompt was “The moment I decided X we were Y…” 

After some time gazing out the window I started to type …”The moment I decided to buy the sofa off Facebook Marketplace…” I had no idea where I was going, but it continued to surprise and amuse me. 

The exercise has been a heartening reminder to me of how we can trust the experience of not knowing. 

That there is a place, serving up new ideas, creativity and imagination –  and it’s in the very process of sitting in the unknown, that we make space for this intelligence to emerge in us. 

I’m often looking at a similar process with clients, exploring where we find more helpful thinking, better life decisions, more clarity and inspiration. 

Especially when faced with uncertainty around high stakes decisions, related to work, or money and relationships, being in the unknown, allowing a feeling of blankness, is typically the last thing we want to do. 

For most of us, we turn to our intellectual mind, to analyze, strategize or solve. And while it might seem to us like we’re getting somewhere, we often go in circles, as we grow more unclear and fatigued. 

The alternative is to shift –  from a state of mind that’s searching, to one that’s receptive and listening.

To allow the blankness, to allow the unknown – trusting that it is actually the most fertile ground, for the fresh ideas, quality guidance and true clarity we seek.