Letting Ourselves Not Know

The power of a listening mind

This summer I took part in a morning writing group recommended to me by a friend.

Each session, we read an excerpt from a published piece, and then received a prompt to write on our own for twenty minutes. Every time the prompt arrived, I had the same experience, a feeling of blankness – what on earth am I going to write about?

And every time, eventually, something unpredictable emerged. 

One recent prompt was “The moment I decided X we were Y…” 

After gazing out the window for some time, I started to type …The moment I decided to buy the sofa off Facebook Marketplace… I had no idea where I was going, but what followed continued to surprise me. 

The exercise has been a heartening reminder to me of how we can trust the experience of not knowing. 

That there is a place, serving up new ideas, creativity and imagination – and it’s in the very process of sitting in the unknown, that we make space for this intelligence to emerge in us. 

I’m often looking at a similar process with clients, exploring where we actually find more helpful thinking, more clarity and inspiration. More life-enhancing decisions.

Especially when faced with uncertainty that feels high stakes, related to work, or money and relationships – being in the unknown, allowing a feeling of blankness, is typically the last thing we want to do. 

For most of us, we turn to our intellectual mind, to analyze, strategize or solve. And while it might seem like we’re getting somewhere, we often go in circles, and grow more unclear and fatigued. 

The alternative is to shift – from a state of mind that’s searching, to one that’s receptive and listening. Waiting patiently and quietly for answers that aren’t based in fear, worry or concern.

To allow the blankness, trusting that it is actually the most fertile ground for the fresh ideas, quality guidance and clarity we seek.