Navigating Uncertainty

How we find a new sense of direction

When things are uncertain outside of us – our professional future, the future of a relationship – our instinct is often to try and figure out the external, in order to have a new experience internally. It looks like once we know what is going to happen, only then, can we feel OK. 

I want us to take uncertainty in reverse – to propose that a settled feeling is available, regardless of what’s happening in our circumstances. And from that more settled place, we will naturally have more clarity, common sense, and ideas about what to do next. This doesn’t mean we need to like what is happening, or feel good about it. It simply means, a level of acceptance of what is. 

At the end of last year, my mother had a dramatic medical emergency while we were in a foreign country, far from each of our homes. At first, I felt a strong wave of resistance – thoughts that this couldn’t and shouldn’t be happening, that this wasn’t our story, not her story. I wanted to turn back time and undo everything. I was, innocently, trying to regain a sense of control through my thinking.

After a few days, my resistance started to soften, as I settled into the new reality – to accept that this was our story, because it was happening. I found a sense of being OK, even if I didn’t know what the next week, month or year would look like. 

As I found more presence, my experience started to shift. I had more energy and clarity about how to handle all of the logistics that needed attention. I was able to enjoy the intimate time caring for my mother in hospital. I developed a fondness for the neighborhood that became my temporary home, taking ritual walks, pausing for meals, and connecting with locals.

If we think of ourselves as being on a road trip, navigating a particular challenge or period of uncertainty – we want to be driving with a clear windscreen.

When we notice we can’t see clearly, that our windscreen is clouded with thought, doubt, sadness, or resistance, that’s our sign to pull over and tend to it – rather than doubling down, struggling to see through the clutter.

When we focus on the windscreen, rather than the destination, a new view will eventually become available to us – one that’s more expansive and full of possibility.