60 to 20

What I saw when I went from a 60+ to 20 hour work week.

Five years ago, I stepped back from a career in film advertising, without knowing what would come next. I’d been in a leadership role that involved working closely with clients, while also managing internal teams and creative projects. My days were bustling, always stimulating and often stretching into the nights and weekends.

I took roughly six months off, and then accepted an invitation to consult part-time for another company. I still didn’t know where I was heading, but this opportunity felt like a yes.

As the consulting work began, there was an initial thrill to being back at work with more flexibility and autonomy. Heading home at 3pm and having dinner by 6pm felt like I was breaking some sort of rules.

After a month or so though, I started to notice an interesting shift. Something about my internal world started to feel familiarly drained. I was puzzled, ‘I’m working significantly less and my responsibilities are not as far-reaching, what’s going on here?’

As I was out walking one evening, my mind circled around a challenge we were facing at the company.

Then it occurred to me. ‘Oh. I’m thinking about them all of the time.’

My official working hours had some limits - but my mind did not. There was my answer. I wasn’t feeling my 20 hour work week. I was feeling my thinking. Turning over issues, entertaining anxious or insecure thoughts, created the same feeling I recognized from my previous role. The circumstances may have changed, but my internal patterns of thinking, were the same.

This isn’t to say that overworking, or working long hours, is irrelevant to our well-being. But the numbers don’t tell the whole story. What’s invisible to most of us is how much the thinking we’re engaged in shapes our experience. It might be thoughts about ourselves, analyzing our performance. Or thoughts about someone else, a client or a co-worker. Or about a project or task, anticipating what will happen. Will it be successful? Will we figure it out?

All of that thinking comes with a feeling.