Navigating Uncertainty
How we find a new sense of direction
When things are uncertain outside of us — our professional future, the future of a relationship — our instinct is often to try and figure out the external.
It looks like we can only feel a sense of calm inside once we know what is happening outside.
I’d like us to consider taking uncertainty in reverse — to propose that a settled feeling is in fact available to us, even in the midst of challenges and the unknown.
This doesn’t mean we need to like or feel good about what is happening. It simply means a level of acceptance of what is.
At the end of 2024, my mother had a dramatic medical emergency at the start of a family trip we were taking to Thailand.
At first, I felt a strong wave of resistance, thoughts that this couldn’t and shouldn’t be happening, that this wasn’t our story, not her story. I wanted to turn back time and undo all the decisions that led us to that moment.
I was, innocently, trying to regain a feeling of control through my thinking.
After a few days, my resistance began to soften. I started to settle into the new reality and to accept that this was our story, simply because it was happening.
I found a sense of being OK, even though I didn’t know what the next week, month or year would hold.
As I found more presence, my experience of the situation started shift.
I had more energy and clarity about how to handle all of the logistics that needed attention. I started to appreciate this unique and intimate time spent with my mother. I developed a fondness for the Bangkok neighborhood that became my temporary home, taking ritual walks, pausing for meals, and connecting with local people.
When faced with uncertainty, if we can allow our minds to settle — instead of trying to figure out our circumstances — we will naturally begin to access more ideas and clarity around what to do next.
We can think of navigating uncertainty like being on a road trip. We want to be driving with a clear windscreen.
When we notice that we can’t see clearly — that our windscreen is clouded with thought, doubt, sadness, or resistance — that’s our sign to pull over and tend to it, not to double down and struggle to see through the clutter.
When we focus on the windscreen rather than the destination, a new view will eventually become available — one that is more expansive and full of possibility.
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