Where Enjoyment Lies

And how it relates to our circumstances

For a long time, I believed having a ‘good time’ was directly tied to ‘making the right decision.’ Deciding how to celebrate a birthday, choosing a hotel or restaurant on vacation, or simply making plans for the weekend.

Enjoyment, I believed, was achieved by optimizing circumstances.

Over time, I have come to understand enjoyment very differently. On a short trip with my father earlier this year, I was reminded of its simplicity and where it actually lies.

In late spring we ventured to Joshua Tree to enjoy a couple of nights in the desert. By 11am it was already in the 90s so any hiking in the National Park was advised to be done in the early morning. We had been to the park in the past and didn’t feel like being on a tight schedule, so we opted for a more leisurely start to the day.

We took our time, had breakfast, and then considered our options. Going into the park at midday the heat would be substantial, and we’d be limited in how much exploring we could do. On the other hand, this was our one full day there, so a visit to the park was today, or not at all.

My more strategic thinking was saying, it’s not the right time, you won’t get to do the best walks, it likely won’t be enjoyable. 

I then took a moment to tune into something else, to let that thinking go for a moment, and feel for a nudge in one direction or another. And without much detail, that guidance said, try it and see.

As we made the drive in, roughly 30-40 mins, the scenery grew more spectacular and other-worldly. I was reminded how special it was simply to drive through this place, even if you never got out of your car. We chose a simple nature walk and lingered along the way, stopping to stand in small patches of shade and take photos. Moving more slowly, I took more time to read the wildlife signs and to appreciate the rock formations. It was a simple excursion - no peaks climbed, or epic sunset vistas - but I felt so content.

As I continued to stroll I felt thankful for this reminder. When I try to optimize circumstances, I miss out on the enjoyment of simply appreciating what is.

Enjoyment is actually always available. It’s what happens when we get present. Our minds quiet down, there are no thoughts of what might be better or what’s happening next. We can tune into a patch of sunlight, a cup of coffee, or the way our pets or loved ones are curled up and comfortable.

Enjoyment is not something I achieve, but something that emerges naturally inside of me, when I land in the moment.